Tips for having effective conversations with upset families (see also the earlier sections for advice on good communication)
- The way that staff interact with families can help diffuse tension and can alleviate distress and anger
- Try to keep calm at all times (slow your speech and keep your tone of voice even); remember that your tone of voice and also your manner is just as important as what you say
- Listen without interrupting to family concerns
- Avoid becoming defensive in one’s attitude. The distress is not focused on you personally but is the result of the situation that the family is thrust into
- Use silences in conversations to diffuse tension, to allow families to reflect on what you’ve said and to say what is really on their minds
- Acknowledge the legitimacy of their distress e.g. ‘I understand that this is a terrible situation for you’
- If you don’t know the answer to something, it’s fine to say that but ensure that you find someone who can help
- Look for transition points, e.g. anger being replaced by other emotions
- Summarise the person’s issues and concerns. This confirms you have understood what they have said and taken this seriously
- Agree a plan going forward and ensure this is well documented in notes
- If the anger does not subside it may be appropriate to withdraw and take time out before talking again
Page last reviewed: 16 Jan 2023
